Aileen by any other name is still a scam

Published 2:06 pm Saturday, March 7, 2015

Okay folks, this scam I’m about to tell you about has been around for a while. I’ve been approached with it on several occasions, and the warning should not be necessary since it’s so blatant. I’ll use a comparison I’ve put out there more than once: The only thing I know that would be more obvious would be a toupee with a chin strap.

But, I feel compelled to warn people about it, especially for those who think professional wrestling is real and for those who think it’s realistic that a gang of thugs would take on Chuck Norris just one at a time.

Here’s the email verbatim:

“My regrets for this sudden request, I have been involved in a robbery during my trip to (Ukraine). I got mugged and all my belongings cash, cell phone and credit cards were all stolen at “gun point”. It was a terrible experience for me. I need your help flying back home as I am trying to raise some money. I have made contact with my bank but the best they can do is to mail me a new card which will take 3 to 4 days to arrive here. I need you to lend me some money, about $2,900 USD,  or whatever you can afford, will pay back once I get this over.

“Western Union Transfer is the fastest option to wire funds to me. Let me know if you need my details (Full names/location) to effect a transfer. Please let me know if you can help me out?”

Aileen.

The return email address identifies this person as Aileen Dodd. I’ve never heard of her. We did not date in high school.

Now because of my profession, my email address is out there. I probably get around 250 to 300 emails a day, many of them from people and firms I’ve never heard of. (Yea, I know. I ended that sentence with a preposition, a rule of grammar that I hold no respect for .)

I’m just guessing here, but I’m willing to bet that Aileen sent this email to thousands of addresses, embracing the concept of “let’s throw a bunch of it against the wall and see how much sticks.” Or as my friend, The Earl of Stumpworth by the Ochlocknee, might say, “Shoot in the creek long enough, and you’re bound to hit a fish.”

Like I often do when I get these spiels from flim flammers, I yanked her chain.

First I asked her what the heck was she doing in the Ukraine to begin with. (Yep, another preposition.) I told her that only getting robbed and mugged might be considered a positive in that part of the world. She could have been caught in a crossfire and killed. Or she might have been kidnapped by some cousin of the ISIS group. Then I suggested she might want to switch to another credit card company.

I don’t think anyone in their right mind would go to the Ukraine right now without heavy security. Many years ago, I considered a trip to Ireland. But in a conversation with my friend, The Earl, he asked me what if someone there asked me if I was Catholic or Protestant — what would I say?

I noted that he knew I was Southern Baptist. And he said yea, but if I would stretch the intent of Ecclesiates, it could reasonably be construed that there is a time to lie. And he said I would need to know who was ahead in their conflict on any given day. The Earl is a deep thinker.

Bottom line,  I disrespectfully declined to help Aileen.

 I reminded her the last time she tried to scam me her name was Helen and she got robbed and mugged in Afghanistan. I told her she really needed some software that would keep a cross-reference of her targets.

I said, “You obviously don’t know where you’re coming from.”

And so I end her proposition with a preposition. Because I can.

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)