And now there’s a ‘Heinz 57’ category

Published 11:14 pm Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A few days ago, it was announced that the Westminster Dog Show will allow mixed breeds. But, they are going to be treated like second class citizens. They will actually have to work — do tricks etc. — and won’t be allowed to compete in “best of show.”

Now I’m a dog lover, but I don’t know how I feel about this. I appreciate the pure-breed dogs that are in the competition but no more than I do the mixed breeds that mostly frolic in the back yard. And I don’t think the pure breeds actually know about being snooty — only their owners.

Actually, I don’t really care for dog shows such as Westminster. The dogs have no idea they are competing, and picking the winners is highly subjective in my book. One judge prisses around the show ring acting as if he/she is really debating a choice when I think he/she decided on the winner the minute the dogs came into view. Just my opinion, of course. What would make a Labrador retriever better than a golden retriever or a Chesapeake Bay retriever in the sporting class?

They are all well groomed and well proportioned — no cockleburs knotted in their tails. I know they say they have standards to go by, but the dogs had no input. People did. And people don’t chase rabbits, dogs do.

The bottom line is, the judge can pick any one of them with his eyes shut and then give reasons why it was the “best.” There’s never a news story about  how a group of fans protested the decision. It’s not like football where you can throw a challenge flag.

Now when it comes to mixed breeds at this show, they are going to have to jump through hoops, run through tunnels, maneuver obstacle courses and such. In other words, they may actually have fun. And what if the pure breeds see this and want to join in. It could get totally out of hand  … a doggy riot. Boy would I like to see that! Chances are, the pure breeds won’t even get to watch. They will be sequestered in some back room during those events. Otherwise they might get the idea that they are real dogs.

A pure breed dog doesn’t know that his blood lines have pedigree. Unlike people, they are not that judgmental.

 Dogs tend to accept people even with all our warts and shortcomings. They don’t require papers of us.

I’ve had both pure-breed dogs and mixed breeds, often referred to as Heinz 57s. I’ve enjoyed them all. I’ve only actually had “papers” on one of my pure breeds. It didn’t mean anything. She couldn’t read and I didn’t care.

Yep, I’ve shared bologna sandwiches with a pure-breed Brittany and a little mixed hound that looked like a miniature black and tan. And there was Jinx, a mixed border collie that could actually smile. He was a throw-away and obviously had been mistreated in a previous situation. But at our house, he got a lot of attention and was very protective of us.  He once held my dad by the pants leg until I could come to the door and say it was okay for him to come in. He didn’t bite him, he just held him.

I’ve enjoyed many days of driving down the road with my dog hanging out the passenger window, its flannel ears blowing in the wind and its slobber streaming down the side of the truck. He didn’t know he was “riding shotgun.” I think he did know he was having fun, though.

 Again let me note that I am not poohpooing pure breeds. No siree Bob. Or maybe I should say, “No siree Rover.” And maybe having the mixed breeds in the Westminster will be more entertaining.

Whether they are mixed or pure, there’s one good thing I can say about dog shows. The dogs that lose the competition won’t leave emotionally scarred like in a Little Miss contest.

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)