Okay, get famous and dress stupid

Published 10:29 pm Wednesday, December 3, 2008

So I was sitting in the dentist’s waiting room reading a “People” magazine. And there was a photo and a profile of a male television star, Josh Radnor. Now here’s a guy obviously making good money from starring in a successful sitcom (How I Met Your Mother). And he looked like he had just crawled out of a cardboard box in some alley.

His hair was pointed in a thousand different directions, or maybe a thousand and one. Only God knows the number, the Bible says.

His collar was unbuttoned and his tie, a very narrow one resembling the 1960s fashion, was loosened with the knot half way down his shirt with the ends dangling apart. His wrinkled white shirt was hanging outside of his disheveled jeans a good eight inches longer than his sports coat, which looked like he had taken off a homeless fellow. I could only imagine that he was wearing Spiderman underwear with Cheetos stains on them.

So what’s the deal? When you get a little fame and fortune do you attend a seminar on looking sloppy? Or do you actually go to an alley and emulate its residents? That would be cheaper and just as effective.

I’ve also noticed this dress style when some celebrities appear on talk shows.

Now I don’t call this casual. To me, casual is an oxford shirt, no tie, a pair of khakis and penny loafers. I think if you have hair, you should brush it, preferably in less than a dozen directions. I don’t think Woody Woodpecker was a trend setter.

I also don’t think this dress style is eccentric, and I don’t think it is stylish. I think it is stupid. Still, I must defend anyone’s right to dress like this. In a democracy, one has the right to look stupid — just like those guys who haven’t figured out that their butts should actually be inside their pants. I also reserve the right to laugh at them or voice my disgust, depending on my ability to evade the scene, of course.

So what is the purpose of a tie that is loosened halfway down the front of the shirt with the ends dangling like a giraffe with two tongues? Maybe it’s all about having a tourniquet on hand in case you happen to be in a bar where a football star has shot himself in the leg.

As to the aforementioned dress of this actor, I would call this a costume as opposed to wardrobe. Maybe these people think they could not fully express themselves before they got famous. Maybe their mamas never checked them over before they got on the school bus.

Or maybe in Hollywood, dressing like this is a way of blending into the scenery. I wonder if the SWAT units out there have thought about dressing like this. I would call it L.A. camouflage.

And perhaps someone holding bank employees hostage would look outside and say, “Oh my gosh, we had better surrender. Looks like there’s a crowd of out-of-work actors out there with guns and bullhorns. They may think this bank is going under. Somebody could really get hurt. Hey! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Your Actors’ Guild money is still safe here!”

But like I said, I must still defend their right to look stupid. This is America!

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)