Here’s to man’s best friend
Man’s best friend. Loyal companion. Puppers. Doggo. Fido. Four-legged furry friend. My worst enemy.
Yup, my worst enemy. I have been afraid of the perfect furry companions my entire life — well ever since I can remember.
It all started in a Barbie Jeep. I was driving this bright pink 1996 kid’s Barbie Jeep around the block at my grandmother’s house — clearly, I was already too cool for school. At the intersection of Ryan Road and Mary Lane, my life changed.
A ferocious dog (read: a tiny toy poodle) came up and started chasing me in the Jeep. Eventually, I got out and made a run for it. The 5 mph speed that the vehicle was keeping was just too slow for my needs at the time. After running for what seemed like ages, the furry terror caught up with me, jumped up to attack me (read: the puppy came up to me for attention and jumped up on my leg to say hey) and sped after me. Eventually, I made it to my grandmother’s house. I ran to the back room and full force jumped into my grandpa’s lap and sobbed.
And sobbed. And sobbed.
That was it. That was my experience with dogs. At the age of 3, I was scarred.
I was told I had a phobia of dogs — a fear of something irrational and not easily understood and something that I thought would define my life.
So from 3 years old to about 21, I inherently avoided dogs. In high school and middle school, that was really tough. Everyone I was friends with had at least one dog, and ‘he won’t hurt you’ or ‘I promise she won’t bother you’ were sentiments that just didn’t cut it in my mind. The phobia was very isolating and exhausting. I could only go over to someone’s house if they didn’t have a dog or if they were willing to put the dog up while I visited. A lot of questions were asked, and when I didn’t have an explanation as to why I was afraid, I was made fun of — a lot. Throughout my younger years, I went to counseling, tried exposure therapy, literally anything to overcome this serious hurdle. It wasn’t until college that I began realizing how this would affect my life. Dogs were everywhere — on front campus, at the park, in apartments, at parties — I knew something had to give if I wanted to live a fully fulfilled life.
This is when I started focusing more on what the issue was. It really all came to fruition when I was placed in a mental facility my senior year of college. It was there that I had all the time in the world to think. I was in my own head more than ever before. With no visitors or phone calls except for specific times, I made goals for when I got out. One of these goals was to get over this hindering fear of dogs. I knew it would take work and patience, but it would give me something to focus on instead of focusing on what it was that got me in there.
So, after my release date, I made a conscious effort to focus on that. I actually got hypnotized for my fear, which is an experience that would require another 500 words to explain. But long story short, about a year ago, when I moved to Macon, I suddenly was OK around dogs. I am not sure what changed — maybe it’s the power of prayer or the hypnotism or maybe my brain just changed chemicals, but I do know that my ability to hang out with dogs became something that made me ecstatic. I wanted to be around my friends with animals all the time. From a tiny 5-pound Yorkie named Sophie to a strong pit bull named Roxane, it was like I almost had a new found confidence in myself.
After a year experiencing all of the different pups around downtown Macon, I decided that I was ready to take the next step in this ‘getting over my fear’ goal that I had set in the hospital. I spent about two weeks looking at the local animal shelters and reading up on the dogs they had up for adoption. I didn’t know what to expect, but Saturday Feb. 17, I went to the local PetSmart for an adoption event. I was immediately connected with the person in charge of one of the shelters and she introduced me to Clyde and his foster mom. I immediately fell in love with him. He is a beautiful mutt who was loyal to his foster mom and was clearly a dog that would be protective, loyal and fun.
So, that day, I went home with a dog.
Honestly, I was in shock. I’m still in shock. I, who have been afraid of animals since I can remember, adopted a dog.
For the past two weeks, I can honestly say my life has changed. A lot. I am now responsible for another creature. There is dog hair all over my apartment. I eat dinner way later because I have an obligation to walk around the block, twice or three times. I don’t feel nearly as lonely. My anxious and depressed thoughts have lessened. I get to stop and talk to strangers on the street who ask about Clyde. And I have fallen in love with something that I never thought I would be able to love. From my worst enemy to my best friend, this journey may seem like a stupid fear, but to me it has been a life-altering experience.
So, here’s to Clyde. Here’s to animal shelters. Here’s to my friends and family, and here’s to all of the pups I met along the way.
“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring — it was peace.”
-Taylor Hembree is the content and design editor for The Union-Recorder