For Martha Gardner Jan. 9 of each year is a significant date on the calendar, but not because it is her birthday.

On that day in 1994 her son Benjamin Fields was killed by a drunk driver while crossing the street after purchasing a money order to put in a birthday card for her. Ben’s birthday is July 9, so every six months Gardner gets a painful reminder of the life that was cut short at 18.

“For a long time my family couldn’t say happy birthday to me,” Gardner said. “I wouldn’t answer my phone; I wouldn’t answer the door. I wouldn’t let anybody get me a birthday cake.”

Saturday, on what would have been her son’s 36th birthday, Gardner will share her story during a 10 a.m. ceremony at the Colquitt County Justice Center (the sheriff’s office), during which Mothers Against Drunk Driving will release balloons in Ben Fields’ memory. She also will speak at a victims’ impact panel there, a program required of some people convicted on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Gardner, a Valdosta resident who was living in Moorefield, W.Va., at the time her son was killed in Boynton Beach, Fla., said after viewing photos on the first day of her son’s trial she could not watch any more of the proceedings. She said she later was able to forgive the driver, a 79-year-old man with a prior conviction for driving under the influence.

The man had a prostitute in the car at the time of the accident and was in a hurry to get away from a neighborhood where he had been robbed a short time earlier while attempting to purchase illegal drugs, she said.

During the sentencing phase of the trial, “I told him that he (should) never be behind a vehicle again, that he never drink again and I hope he sees my son’s face every day for the rest of his life.

“(But) Ben enjoyed life, loved his family. It took me a long time, but I forgave the man who took my son’s life. I had to forgive him to forgive myself.”

Gardner said she has learned to get on with her life because it is what her son would have wanted. The two reminders on the calendar each year are still a challenge.

“I wrote a birthday card for him,” she said. “Every year I write a birthday card for him. It just hits me sometimes. It will be OK, but sometimes on my birthday, on his birthday …

“I know in my heart the person Ben was. I am his voice to let people know not to drink and drive. For me to go to Moultrie and speak, it’s helping me in ways you can never imagine. If I can help just one person stop drinking and driving, it’s worth it.”

In 2009, 10,839 people were killed in automobile accidents involving alcohol-impaired drivers with a blood alcohol content of 0.08 percent or greater, according to the National Traffic Highway Safety Administration. Those accidents accounted for 32 percent of all auto fatalities that year.

In Georgia that same year, there were 331 fatal crashes in which a driver was impaired, accounting for 26 percent of all road fatalities. Only California, Florida, North Carolina and Texas had more fatal crashes involving an impaired driver.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reported that in 2005, fatal crashes accounted for $41 billion in medical and work-loss costs.

Again Georgia was near the top, with losses at $1.55 billion, behind only California’s $4.16 billion, Texas’ $3.5 billion and Florida’s $3.16 billion.