TRAVERSE CITY, Michigan — Starla Owens knows silence, a silence so empty a person can hear tears trickling down their cheek.

She knows shadows, too, especially the shadows of Bachellor Cemetery in Mason County, Michigan, where her soldier/son, Joseph Lancour, forever rests beneath the shadows and shade of a guardian oak tree, and where a shin-tall statue of a soldier wearing a beret stands watch – a silent sentinel saluting his fallen comrade, to be sure.

And most painfully, the president of the Northern Michigan Blue to Gold Star Mothers, Inc., knows how the somber silences and shadows of Memorial Day will leave her feeling when she visits the grave of her son whose ageless epitaph tells all eternity here lies a “Beloved son, brother and grandson,” and where a handkerchief-size American flag flutters in the whispering breeze.

“Memorial Day is a quiet day for us, I’ll be meeting my daughter to put flowers on his grave,” said Owens. “It is a day of reflecting on his life, and his sacrifices, and his service. We don’t plan a party, or anything like that. This is our quiet day, our quiet time, to reflect on the day.

“If we have somebody stop by, we’ll sit and visit, but this is a day for us to reflect, to honor my son. It’s a day to recognize the sacrifices and services of all those who have died in combat.”

A few days ago Owens gathered with others to clean a statue in the Grand Traverse Area Veterans Memorial Park, a statue that depicts a Gold Star Mother holding a folded flag while sitting in a chair, lost in the silences and shadows of her memories. The woman has her head bowed and is weeping.

“I see myself in the statue,” said Owens. “There are times that, as a ‘Gold Star Mother,’ I’ll wonder what it would have been like to have been known just as ‘Joe’s mom,’ or ‘Starla.’ It’s sad that I have this title, and that title is not just ‘Joe’s mother,’ but ‘Gold Star Mother.’ I gave the greatest gift to this country, and I ask nothing in return, but to honor the men and women that served and died for this country.

“Inside, (as president of Northern Michigan Blue to Gold Star Mothers ), I carry the weight of all these mothers. They mean the world to me. But, a lot of them don’t want others to know that they are a Gold Star Mother — I have a friend who really doesn’t want people to know she’s a Gold Star Mother — they keep it very personal. It’s one of those things that I have to stop and think for a little bit, and reflect. I remember what it was like for me.”

The Gold Star Mothers bronze memorial means much to Owens, and others in her organization.

“What an honor it is to have such a beautiful statue placed here in northern Michigan, honoring our Gold Star Mothers and families,” said Owens. “As there are wars, we will have men and women paying the greatest sacrifice for our country and freedoms; we will have Gold Star Mothers and families who will have given the greatest gift to this country — their child, father, brother, grandson and husband.”

Owens’ 21-year-old son, Spc. Lancour, and five other soldiers died of wounds they suffered in a Nov. 9, 2007, ambush near Aranus in eastern Afghanistan.

Lancour enlisted into the Army in 2006 and was trained at Fort Benning, Georgia, to be a paratrooper. He served a brief time in Italy, before being deployed to Afghanistan with the Army’s 173rd Airborne.

As a youngster, Lancour was active in sports from first grade, starting with t-ball, then baseball, following with junior high wrestling and continuing into his senior year with football. He was artistic in many ways, and loved to cook and draw. He also enjoyed skateboarding, fishing, camping and hunting, and was interested in muscle cars and antique cars. He was a 2004 graduate of Ludington High School in northern Michigan.

“He was proud of what he did,” Owens said of her son’s service to his country.

Kathy Moyer is secretary of the Northern Michigan Blue to Gold Star Mothers. Her son, Matthew Moyer, died in 2012, five years after being seriously wounded during a rocket-propelled grenade attack in Iraq. He served with the 10th Mountain Division of the United States Army.

Still, even after suffering serious injuries, Moyer went on to serve his country, including flying drones to assist in their military effort.

Then, returning home, he continued to support his veteran brethren by volunteering to be part of the VFW Honor Guard, and helping with breakfast at the Cherryland Post.

In his youth, Moyer’s outgoing nature allowed him to enjoy soccer, and serve with the Boy Scouts. He also developed a passion for cars and trucks, and could often be found working and tinkering on the many mechanics of a vehicle, before fulfilling his dream of becoming a soldier. He graduated from Traverse City West High School in 2004.

“For Memorial weekend I always put flowers on my son’s grave,” said Moyer. “I make sure they are there and that they look nice, and that there is a flag there.

“After my son passed away, someone gave me a statue of a soldier kneeling by a cross, and so, every year, I put a ribbon around my tree, put flowers at the base of the tree and I put my son’s picture on the tree — for Memorial Day.”

This year marks the 50th anniversary of when Memorial Day became an official federal holiday (1971), a day that had been set aside during during the Civil War to honor military personnel who died in the performance of their duties.