The stairs and walls at Lincoln Academy in Stillwater have writing they call positive affirmations.

STILLWATER, Oklahoma – “Boyd,” a senior at Lincoln Alternative Academy in Stillwater, Oklahoma, has a different life than most students his age.

Like most teenagers, he has dreams and goals, but he’s also taken care of himself since he was 16. He is an unaccompanied minor. Although he’s had setbacks, he didn’t allow that to determine his future.

Boyd said he learned valuable things as a child, such as a work ethic and that respect is essential for success and building relationships. Those skills helped him navigate a life without a typical family structure or shelter. 

Technically, Boyd is homeless, though he does have a roof over his head, living alone in a camper. He spends his mornings at Meridian Technology Center, studying automotive technology, and then works at Janzen’s Automotive.

“On Tuesday and Wednesday, I go to night school at Lincoln, and the rest of the time, I do my work online,” he said. “I work Saturday 7 a.m.- 1 p.m., and then I’m off all day Sunday.”

Although the district considers him homeless, he doesn’t feel the label applies to his situation. The term doesn’t always indicate someone is living on the streets, said Diana Nolan, Stillwater Public Schools social worker.

“If they lost their job and something happened, and they had to move in with another family member or another family to survive, that’s considered homeless because they are doubled up with somebody else,” she said. “So I think a lot of times people hear ‘homeless’ and they think these people are living on the streets. No, these people are living in shelters, some are couch surfing, some are in cars.”

More than 200 students in the Stillwater Public Schools district were reported as homeless at some point this year. According to the U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness, Oklahoma has nearly 2,000 homeless youth.

The problem with dad

Boyd said he had a good childhood growing up, but the family disbanded when his parents divorced in 2008. He eventually moved to Oklahoma with his mom before returning to California to live with his dad. Boyd said he would move in with his dad if he bought him a car, and he did.

“My dad’s a narcissistic alcoholic, so he’s pretty hard to get along with for some people. But for some people, he’s the most charming guy ever,” he said. “So, it’s a tricky one. But it all took us a little while to figure that out.”

He described living with his dad like having a “lazy roommate,” and said that at times, his father mistreated him. 

“So, it really was just a never-ending cycle of – I don’t want to say neglect, but just mistreatment – so he picks a fight with me, and I lost it,” he said. “I just quit putting up with it. And I told him I was like, ‘Dude, I’m really not afraid of you anymore.’ And that’s when he decided to get physical.”

Boyd moved in with a friend and started couch-surfing for a bit until he said he felt “stagnant.” He then convinced his older sister to return to Oklahoma. They moved into a house in Stillwater, and things were fine again.

“And we’re living together on 12th (Avenue), and she’s got a job, and I’m going to school it’s kind of working. But I think we both felt that I was taking advantage of that situation,” he said. “I kind of still relied on my sister to play the mom role, and that just wasn’t fair.”

Mike Stout, an OSU associate professor in the Human Development and Family Science Department on the Tulsa campus, said it’s harder to succeed when a sibling takes over the parental role.

“They’re essentially trying to play the role of the child and the parents in that situation. So, you know, when you have two identities like that, you can’t ever fully focus on either one,” Stout said.

Boyd said his parents each had their strengths, but the emotional support wasn’t one of them.

“When it came to emotional support, that was between siblings,” Boyd said. “And my mom was still pretty damn decent at it for our standards. But neither of my parents are very emotionally equipped … I definitely do feel that my sister played more of the mom role for a good majority,” he said.

Working toward success

Boyd decided to do what was best for him and purchased a camper. He said it was more cost-efficient than renting a house or bedroom for hundreds of dollars a month.

“It is a rickety old camper, but I’m pretty dang proud of it because it’s mine. Besides my mom, nobody helped me get this thing,” Boyd said. “When the time’s right, I will sell it or maybe even leave it for my little brother because I think that maybe it would be good for him.”

He found a spot for the recreational vehicle and has lived there ever since.

“That’s been good for me. I realized a lot of the problems were because of my environment,” he said. 

Boyd said the staff at Lincoln Academy worked with him while he was trying to figure things out, and he’s grateful for that. Lincoln Academy provides an alternative route for students to get a degree.

Principal Trent Swanson said the goal at Lincoln Academy is to help students succeed by providing opportunities that fit the student’s life.

“When the students come here, we just want to meet them where they’re at and just see how we can support them,” Swanson said. “There’s an interview process that the students have to go through.”

This support helped Boyd many other students.

“I was waking up coming here (Lincoln Academy), leaving, going to Meridian, then going to work, and I wouldn’t get home until 12 a.m.,” he said. “And that just wasn’t good for me or my animals. I got a dog and two cats. I was spending eight hours in my house a day, six of them I was sleeping.” 

Boyd said he learned some tough lessons, some more difficult than others. Another battle he faced was not having a male role model, which caused him to seek that elsewhere.

“That’s half the reason I was with my ex-girlfriend for so long because her family aspect wasn’t so bad, or at least it was better than mine, and I enjoyed that,” he said. “Her dad was around, and he was a good guy.”

A look at the future

Boyd’s mom said she is incredibly proud of him and what he has accomplished this far. He should be graduating from high school within the following year. He plans to further his education because he enjoys learning new things, but is unsure if he wants to go to college or a trade school.

“There’s plenty of subjects that I would love to go to school for just more of a cost thing, a time thing, and a location thing,” he said.

Boyd said living in the camper isn’t a permanent solution, but it’s the most feasible option right now. One day he would like to build a home base on a property and start from there. He said he even entertained getting land he would finance for his mom, so they could all live together.

“I have always been missing parts of what I consider to be home. So, for what I’ve created for myself, what I’ve managed to do, I do feel like I’ve created myself a decent home. I’m not saying that it’s a decent home by anybody else’s standards. I’m saying that for my situation, I’m just glad that I’m not out in the weather, I’m not having to beg for my dog to have some food,” he said. “I’ve seen homeless. I grew up around that … I don’t think that I can consider myself homeless because I’ve seen what real homeless looks like, and it’s not what I am.”