Something called “My Life” keeps appearing in my emails.  I’ve never paid it much attention because I approach my emails with this perspective: 90 percent of it is either propaganda or con games. My delete button is well polished with finger grease.

I get some 300-plus emails a day. On this day an item “My Life” caught my eye because it said I had a public approval rating of  “good.” That was on a scale that progressed from “poor” to “fair” to “good.” There was no “excellent.”

Now each of those three categories had a horizontal colored bar over which a marker ran. The marker  raced right on through “poor” and “fair” to stop on “good.”  It went to the far right side of  the “good” bar, which was colored green. That was as far as it could go without running off the computer screen and falling onto the floor. But when it stopped, it started backing up, and it kept backing up until it was barely inside the “good” bar. It reminded me of a car I once owned in college. I always parked on a hill so I was sure to get it cranked later. I just hoped it wouldn’t roll backwards when I pushed in the clutch.

Well, I guess I could interpret that stopping point to  mean my approval rating is just barely good… not real good.  I have no idea about the criteria for this judgement.

I got a good laugh out of this little game because apparently  they want me to buy into their scheme and find out more about myself from their viewpoint.

First off, I don’t know who “they” are. Secondly, I don’t care who “they” are. Unless “they” are going to pay my taxes, pick up the cost of my new central heating and air system and find a cure for my peripheral neuropathy, I don’t give a tiny rat’s patoot what they know or think about me. I may have come in here on a load of turnips, but I was driving the truck, not riding on the tailgate.

I’m in the short rows already. I’ve peeked over the edge. I’ve been loved and hated. That’s the nature of the profession I’m in. And when those judgements have come up, I didn’t have to guess which was which.

My life is simple, for the most part … at least as it relates to those things I can control.  “They” obviously didn’t do much research on me or they would know that I would rather run a trot line on a full moon night than have dinner with the president. I would rather get on a good dove shoot than to meet the pope. And I cherish a sunrise on Attapulgus Creek as much as I would the Mediterranean.

These kinds of scams try to make you think that they have something on you or someone is checking into your background. They suggest something negative  is lurking in the footnotes. Well the laugh is on them. I returned that library book years ago.

This “My Life” episode said at least 12 people were looking into my background. They will tell me who they are for a price.

Well if those 12 people will just call me up  I can probably tell them all they need to know.  Besides, I’m not running for office nor am I applying for a loan.  And I’m not a candidate for the CIA or even the Ludowici Home Guard. Like I said …short rows.

Now quite often when I write, I might use some phraseology that is foreign to some readers. But if you’ve ever picked butterbeans or hoed peanuts, then you can get my gist about  “short rows.”  If not, you buy the coffee, and I’ll explain it.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)