There’s a financial crisis going on down in the bayou. The price for alligators has dropped to $5 per foot.

Now I don’t think that this situation has anything to do with the Dow Jones dropping so drastically in the past week. But for those few guys on television’s “Swamp People,” it’s the same thing.

I did a little research on the alligator pricing issue. The crux of the problem is that alligator farming’s volume has driven the prices down.

You see the “Swamp People” hunt gators. They don’t farm them. They put out hooks in the bayou baited with rotten chicken. Then they wrestle them up beside the boat and shoot them.

An alligator farmer just walks out into the alligator pen where hundreds of these creatures are sunning and shoots those ready for “harvest.” His life is not threatened in this process.

The only reason I watch “Swamp People” on the History Channel is because I like to hear Cajun people talk. They entertain me. The actual process of hunting alligators does not interest me at all. If you’ve seen one alligator being hooked and shot, then you’ve seen them all.

Now the swampers will yell out, “Oooooh he’s a big one!” when in fact they are almost all the same size give or take a foot.

However, I have learned a few things about alligators while I was enjoying the bayou vernacular.

I learned how to tell the sex of an alligator. This requires that the alligator lay on its back, and you put your finger into a cavity on its underside and feel for a sex organ. I can’t imagine anytime that I would need to do this. No siree Bob! By the way, they did not tell me how to get the alligator to lay on its back, unless of course it has been shot.

Also I learned that to kill an alligator, there’s a spot about the size of a quarter on top of its head that you can shoot with a .22 caliber rifle and dispatch the gator. Again, I see no practical application for this knowledge.

It seems a little strange that a creature as fierce as an alligator that has maintained its prehistoric posturing could be brought down with such a small caliber weapon. What I mean is, creatures such as bears and rhinos have to be shot with small cannons.

Scientists say that alligators have changed very little in millions of years. Or for those who adhere to a strict Biblical interpretation of time, at least 5,000 years.

These people who appear on “Swamp People” have formed what they call the “Cajun Cartel” to fight the price structuring .

Four of these guys met at midnight by a big bonfire and swore their allegiance to this “cartel.” They were very clear though, they don’t know how they are going to function as a pricing force. All they have is a catchy name — “Cajun Cartel.”

Now these guys hunt alligators because that’s what their grandfathers and their fathers did. And they embrace this same vocation because it must have been carved in a cypress tree somewhere that this is how it would be.

One of the swampers is very upset because his son has a college education and doesn’t want to carry on the family tradition. He wants to move to town and get a real job that has insurance, a 401K and no mosquitoes and moccasins in the kitchen.

My advice to the “Cajun Cartel” is they might want to check out the local technical college. Or, they might consider turning their skills into a folk-art situation and take people on alligator hunting tours. Some people, but not me.

If the entire alligator market went belly up, it would not affect me. I’ve only eaten alligator once in my life. And I can’t afford alligator shoes. So for me, it’s neither food nor fiber. Therefore it’s non essential. Still, I hate to seen anyone lose his job. I would recommend the folk-art thing, and maybe they can stay on television. Like I said, I like to hear them talk.

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)