The shock.

The horror.

The denial.

Still, it happens. And it happens far more often than most people want to acknowledge or admit.

No parent wants to think about the possibility of a child being molested or abused. While the statistics, — the sheer numbers of child abuse cases each year — can be alarming, there are ways to help prevent the crime and to protect the most vulnerable — our children.

The SunLight Project team looked at child molestation numbers, along with protection and prevention efforts throughout our coverage areas – Valdosta, Dalton, Milledgeville, Thomasville, Tifton and Moultrie along with the surrounding counties.

The Numbers

Experts agree the numbers, while shocking, are probably low estimates of how many instances there actually are. As with adult sexual assault victims, many cases are not reported by the victims because of feelings of shame and a fear of not being believed.

In 2016, The Patticake House in Tift County saw 33 children younger than the age of 18 for forensic interviews. So far, in 2017, they have conducted 45.

The Tifton Police Department reported it has 26 reports on file in reference to child molestation or aggravated child molestation from Jan. 1, 2016 through Dec. 12, 2017.

Child molestation is defined in Georgia law as “committing any moral or indecent act to or in the presence of or with any child under the age of 16 years with the intent to arouse or satisfy the sexual desires of either the child or the person.” This includes using an electronic device to transmit these same acts.

Aggravated child molestation is defined as “an offense of child molestation which physically injures the child or involves an act of sodomy.”

The Tift County Sheriff’s Department reported it has eight cases from 2016, one of which was unfounded, and 22 in 2017, five of which were unfounded.

There are three registered sex offenders for aggravated child molestation in Tift County and 29 registered for child molestation.

The Moultrie Police Department handled five reports of child molestation in 2016 and five in 2017.

The Colquitt County Sheriff’s Office reported 31 child-molestation cases in 2016 and 14 in 2017.

There are 42 registered sex offenders for child molestation in Colquitt County and eight for aggravated child molestation.

In 2016, the Dalton Police Department handled 50 reports of child molestation. Through Dec. 1, 2017, it has handled 19.

In 2016, the Whitfield County Sheriff’s Office handled 72 reports of child molestation. Through Dec. 4, 2017, it has handled 55 reports of child molestation.

Whitfield County has 74 registered sex offenders for child molestation and 20 for aggravated child molestation.

The Treehouse in Thomasville handled 165 cases in 2016, said Jackla Lawson, Treehouse executive director.

In 2016, 13 child-molestation cases were reported to the Thomasville Police Department. To date this year, nine have been reported.

In 2016, 46 child molestation cases were reported to the Thomas County Sheriff’s Office. From Jan. 1 to Nov. 30 this year, 29 were reported.

Thomas County, including Thomasville, has 50 registered child molesters.

In Valdosta, The Haven’s sexual assault coordinator, Kim Bennett, said so far in 2017, The Haven has aided 28 persons who were involved in child molestation. The count only includes those who had medical exams under Haven supervision. In 2016, it helped 18 people, she said.

The Valdosta Police Department reported four child-molestation arrests in the city in 2016 and four arrests in 2017 plus four cases which are still open.

Brad Shealy, district attorney for the Southern Judicial Circuit, said his office doesn’t keep separate numbers on how many child-molestation cases it prosecutes; the cases are lumped together under the label of sex crimes. He said the DA’s office prosecuted 99 sex crime cases in the circuit in 2017, of which he said, “roughly” 90 of them would involve “some form of child molestation.” In 2016, the DA prosecuted 95 sex-crime cases circuit-wide.

There are 46 registered sex offenders for child molestation in Lowndes County and 21 for aggravated child molestation.

Four people have been arrested in Baldwin County for child molestation and aggravated child molestation since Jan. 1 2016, of which three offenders are juveniles.

The Georgia Bureau of Investigation’s sex-offender registry lists 26 people convicted of child molestation currently living in Baldwin County.

The Victims

No child is immune, but there are child and family characteristics that significantly heighten or lower the risk of child sexual abuse, experts say.

Here is what the SunLight team learned when talking to professionals in child-protection services and law enforcement:

— Risk increases where children live with step-parents or single parents. The highest risk are children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner.

— Children living without either parent (foster children) are 10 times more likely to be sexually abused than children who live with both biological parents.

— Children are most vulnerable to abuse between the ages of 7 and 13 with 9 being the median for reported abuse. Of children who are sexually abused, more than 20 percent are abused before age 8.

— Children who witness or are the victim of other crimes are significantly more likely to be sexually abused.

The statistics do not mean every child living in single-parent, step-parent or foster home is in an at-risk environment. Officials say in many situations those non-traditional homes end up being the safest place for the child. Still, the reporting indicates where the greatest numbers of incidents occur.

The Offenders

Most often a perpetrator is someone known by the child and the family.

Mary Smith, the child abuse prevention program manager with the Family Support Council in Dalton, said 81 percent of child sexual abuse incidents for all ages occur in one-perpetrator/one-child circumstances. Most abuse occurs in a residence, usually the child’s or the perpetrator’s.

Incidents also occur in isolated areas, in church buildings, in social situations and even athletic events.

Incidents can occur at daycare centers, school restrooms, on school buses, in classrooms, in neighborhoods, at the babysitter’s, at friend’s houses, on playgrounds, at church service and at home.

Smith said to be aware that perpetrators can also be juveniles or older, more powerful children. This accounts for as many as 40 percent of cases where children are abused.

“One out of seven incidents of sexual assault perpetrated by juveniles occurs on school days between 3 and 7 p.m., with peak hours between 3 and 4 p.m.,” she said.

Family and acquaintance child sexual abuse perpetrators have reported they look for specific characteristics in children they choose to abuse.

They look for passive, quiet, troubled, lonely children from single-parent homes, according to information gathered by the SunLight team.

They frequently seek out children who are particularly trusting, and they work to establish a trusting relationship before abusing them, Smith said. They often extend this trusting relationship to the victim’s family.

Perpetrators are often very skilled at coming into your home through the internet, various websites and cell phones, the experts said.

Protection and Prevention

Law-enforcement officials and counselors agree the best way to protect children is to establish trust and communication between parents or caregivers and children.

Nancy Bryant with Ruth’s Cottage and The Patticake House in Tifton said one thing she recommends to parents and caregivers is to use the technical terms for body parts. 

Bryant gave an example of a little girl who told a teacher that her daddy “ate her cookie.” 

“Turns out that ‘cookie’ was the name that they gave her (private parts) and she was disclosing and nobody knew,” Bryant said.

Bryant compared the example to one where a little boy told his parents that someone had put their mouth on his private parts. 

“There was no ambiguity about that,” she said.

Bryant said empowering children to report abuse of either themselves or their friends to a trusted adult helps find and stop abuse.

“If you have a home in which your children are afraid to tell you things that’s going to be a problem,” she said. “They think they’ve done something wrong when this happens to them. So if they don’t feel comfortable with your reaction to things, they won’t tell you.”

Parents, caregivers, teachers and even children should know what to look for to spot signs of sexual abuse.

Bryant said having difficulty walking or sitting, reporting nightmares or bedwetting, experiencing a sudden change in appetite or expressing knowledge of sexual behaviors they shouldn’t know about are all signs there may be abuse.

Sudden personality changes and problem behaviors are also a red flag, particularly if a child also suddenly wants to quit an activity or sport they previously enjoyed or stops wanting to go to someone’s house, Bryant said.

Smith said education and awareness is primary in protecting children from child sexual abuse.

“Both adults and children must have as much information as possible to understand the issues surrounding the abuse of children,” Smith said. “Adults have a responsibility to learn the facts about abuse and take advantage of training opportunities such as Darkness to Light, Stewards of Children and should have open and ongoing discussions with children of all ages about their own safety and appropriate and inappropriate touch.”

Bryant and Smith said teaching children that secrets are not OK is also important, since many abusers will tell children that the abuse is a secret and they aren’t supposed to tell.

One of the best ways parents can protect their children from a predator is to establish a line of communication and watch for signals that could alert them to an issue, Colquitt County Sheriff Rod Howell said.

A child who exhibits a change in personality or changes in behavior could be tipping parents off that something is amiss.

“It doesn’t have to rise to the level of child molestation,” Howell said. “It could be something that makes them uncomfortable. If you can tell when they get around somebody and they’re uncomfortable, and they’re distancing themselves from somebody, you should find out what’s going on.”

Behavior changes and moodiness are other warning signs, but especially with adolescents, a parent can open up a conversation based on these changes.

“If they’ve been going to group functions and now they’re withdrawn, or they were always happy and outgoing and now they’re withdrawn – you look for anything out of the norm, but you look at other things, too,” he said.

Most investigations involving sex with a child start with a report from a parent, Howell said. In other cases, a teacher may notice something is wrong with a student and report it if there is suspicion the child could be being abused.

“If you don’t feel comfortable talking to parents,” he suggested kids “find somebody you can talk to about it.”

Detective Haley Beckham, Baldwin County Sheriff’s Office, said children are often scared to say anything because they know the abuser.

“A lot of times, when kids have the unfortunate fate of being a victim of sexual abuse, they know their offender, so they don’t come forward,” Beckham said. “Once children get to the age where they’re talking and conversing with you, they get a bad feeling for a reason, and it’s so important that you tell your child that it doesn’t matter if the person is a close friend or a family member, they’re OK for telling you anything that happens. A lot of times, that fear factor gets them, and it’s so instilled in them that they just don’t come forward.”

Police Chief Troy Rich said parents can protect their children from the possibility of molestation by becoming educated about sexual abuse and talking to their children about the child’s day.

Rich said parents should always know where their children are and who they are with at all times, and that it is important to teach children that danger might come from someone they trust.

He also advised monitoring children’s phones and social media closely. Do random checks to monitor their photos, online activity, text messages, chat applications, etc. Netsmartz.org is a good resource for addressing online safety issues and teaching children about internet dangers, he said.

To keep children safe, parents need to be involved in their day-to-day activities, said Lt. Tim Watkins, sheriff’s office chief investigator.

“Put security monitors on electronic devices, and review children’s electronic devices and social media,” Watkins advised.

Filing a Report

The decision to file a complaint or tell someone about suspect abuse can be difficult.

The risk of making a false accusation is often a concern that can stall or even prevent someone from filing a complaint.

Here is what officials recommend:

— Remain as calm as possible and listen but avoid detailed questions.

— Report the incident to law enforcement or the Department of Family and Children Services, if it has not been reported already.

— Support your child and tell them you believe what they say and that it was not their fault.

— Follow the procedures by local authorities and follow through with all appointments.

This will consist of a forensic interview, in which the child is interviewed by a trained counselor to determine what happened. A forensic exam is performed when there is suspected aggravated child molestation and is done to collect physical evidence from the child’s body and clothing.

— Be certain the child receives appropriate therapy for sexual abuse.

— Be aware there could be emotional and behavioral changes that should subside over time.

— Continue to love the child and know sexual abuse has an impact on the entire family.

— Parents and guardians should also get the support they need.

Though it may sound cliche the people we talked to agreed the best advice is simply, “See something. Say something.” You may be protecting, or even saving a child.

The SunLight Project team of journalists who contributed to this report includes Terry Richards, Patti Dozier, Charles Oliver, Will Woolever, Alan Mauldin and Eve Guevara. The SunLight Project is edited by Dean Poling and Jim Zachary.