MOULTRIE — Routinely I search the web sites of major universities hoping to see major discoveries in medicine, engineering, natural sciences, improvements in energy resources and other such things with socially redeeming value – things that may improve our lives and enhance a concept of peace and dignity.

Today I did a double take  on a study from the University of Rochester. Researchers there have determined that people with greater intelligence are more likely to walk around the house naked and are more prone to curse.

I’ll just cut to the bottom line. I don’t know what to do with this information.

As I read more about it, the researchers asked 1,000 people about 400 everyday habits, ranging from singing in the shower to swearing, and according to a report on the internet they found potty mouths have higher IQs.

The story stated that the goal of the study was to investigate which behaviors are linked to certain personalty types. Again, what does one do with this information?

The study also found extroverts are more likely to speed while driving and that kind people are more likely to sing  in the shower. I think really good research would have narrowed that down to country music or rock.

I don’t know what my IQ is. I know I’m not qualified to work for NASA nor can I perform heart surgery. But recently I took my old tractor apart, and when I put it back together I didn’t have any parts left over. And it runs. Also, I kept my britches on while I was working on it. But I did curse several times when I discovered that to replace a simple little three-inch hydraulic hose I had to pull the radiator out. So maybe that makes me half smart.

So now I wonder after this information has been published if some people will start watching football in the nude and cursing more when their team fumbles just to see if it makes them feel more intelligent.

After I had Googled these profound findings, I did a bit more scanning and there are a lot of findings out there that I would list as downright silly.

For instance,  one study shows that being homeless is bad for your health? Who would have guessed that not having a roof over your head, walls surrounding you and an indoor toilet could impact the human physiology. A follow-up study said this finding is even more pronounced in winter.

Then I find that a statistical analysis reveals that Mexican drug wars increased homicide rates. You know that’s the bad thing about war … people get killed. I think that’s been it’s essence since the Old Testament.

They could have saved a lot of numbers crunching simply by watching that series “Drug Wars” on the Discovery Channel, or by visiting some of the cemeteries along the Mexican/U.S. border.

I think at some point it was decided that just stating the obvious is not a valid pronouncement. Even the obvious must have the blessings from the more intelligent … you know, the people who run around naked in the house shouting expletives.

Yet another study showed that the more a person lives under democracy, the more likely they are to support democracy. Go figure.

So I’m going to issue a finding that may not be official, but I’m guessing if some people with really high IQs crunched the numbers they would declare that I’m right: People who routinely run with the bulls in Pamploma, Spain, or bunji jump are likely to have higher insurance premiums.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545: Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)