MOULTRIE, Ga. —  

Through the years I have collected quotes, some of them famous and others just good food for thought, but most of them are on the light side, because I would rather have a chuckle than to appear that I might be suffering from a kidney stone.

 And occasionally I feel compelled to share these quotes. 

Some of these quotes are from famous people and some others are “unknown.” 

I’ve always been a dog lover so some of these sayings key on man’s best friend. One of my favorite quotes in this regard is: “If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?”

Groucho Marx had this insight: “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”

On a more serious note, I’ve often thought of this one: “God please help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.”

Some quotes I have collected are just about life’s little incidents that one might relate to. How about this one: “Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the  enthusiasm, but I wasn’t finished.”

Someone by the name of Helen Rowland made this observation: “When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s ahead is the one that’s mad.” 

Even Sigmund Freud had a lighter side. He said, “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.”

Some good quotes obviously come from deep thinkers who initially may have been contemplating their navels or wondering why one ear tends to produce more wax than the other. Like this one: “When someone tells me I’m going to regret that in the morning, then I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.”

And I would be remiss not to offer a couple of quotes about that phenomenon we call Facebook.

“A long time ago I had a life. And then someone suggested I open a Facebook account.”

And how about: “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”

Now that we live in a computer-driven society, many phrases have been coined relative to one’s love of or frustration with these devices.

This one made my list: “My computer may be smarter than me, but it’s no match when it comes to kick boxing.”

A lot of quotes bring ironies to the forefront. Take Dolly Parton for instance. She once said, “I had to get rich to sing like I was poor again.”

Fred Allen made a similar observation: “A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well known and then wears dark glasses  to avoid being recognized.”

And some quotes get revised or even abandoned as time passes. When’s the last time you heard someone say, “A penny saved is a penny earned.” You can’t buy anything for a penny anymore. People won’t even bend over to pick up a penny off the sidewalk. It’s got to be at least a nickel.

As for revision, an older saying was, “Dance like no one is watching.” 

That is now restated: “Dance like no one is watching because they aren’t. They’re all checking their cell phones.”

Since I began this rambling with quotes about dogs, I will close with the same.

“I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.”

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)