It was announced a few days ago that the federal government’s goal for reducing obesity in 2016 came up short.  I would have bet that would be the case.

The Associated Press story that reported this didn’t give specific numbers, so I don’t know if that goal was missed by a mile or if it was “hand grenade” close. I’m guessing it was more to the negative side.

Now when I said I would have bet that the effort would fail, I’m just basing this on casual observation. Have you ever looked closely when the camera scans the fans at a football game? Some of these people beep when they back up. And some of them should keep their shirts on and not paint their bodies. Otherwise, they just call attention to the fact that they were party to us missing that goal.

Furthermore, how can we expect to get a nation to lose weight when there are so many food shows on television?  They run the gamut from Bizarre Foods to Delicious Destinations, both shows hosted by Andrew Zimmer. He’s the chubby bald-headed guy who smacks his lips after sampling a lizard toes sandwich.

The two shows I have just mentioned are what I call “eating shows.”  

Then we have cooking shows. They show you how to prepare and “present” a dish. The presentation seems to always involve a sprig of parsley, which in my book has about as much relevance to food as a twig of dog fennel. But if you only ate as much as they put on a plate and refer to as a “dish,” then there probably wouldn’t be a weight problem.

And let’s not forget what I call the “contest” food shows where people actually compete to see who can eat the most the quickest. People stand around cheering as some guy tears into a five-pound cheeseburger. If he can eat it all in 15 minutes (including the fries and the chocolate milkshake) he doesn’t have to pay for it. The fact that you can hear his left ventricle closing is not mentioned during the episode.

Now to be fair, there are also shows about healthy eating. So when is the last time you juiced a cabbage or got up in the middle of the night and rummaged through the refrigerator to find a carrot? Yea, that’s what I thought.

In between those shows about food, we have commercials about food. We have two dorks sitting at a drive-in restaurant seemingly overwhelmed by some new offerings. One seems to be smart enough to at least calculate gas mileage and the other would probably define gene therapy as massaging a pair of Wranglers. But the food looks good.

Then there’s a commercial with two grown men wearing cardboard hats who can’t believe how economically they can eat lunch.

Now many people who watch these shows and these commercials will be heavily influenced by the power of suggestion. I know that because I am one of them. I can watch cowboys sitting around a campfire eating out of tin plates and wiping their mouths on their sleeves and the next thing I know, I’m in the kitchen opening a can of pork  ‘n beans.

After watching one  “eating show,” I even invented a snack. I put pimento cheese in the concave of a Pringles chip and then put sweet hotdog relish on top of that. You should try it. If you should see it being served at a wedding reception, just remember who invented it.  But I doubt I can get royalties.

Yep, television was once referred to as the “great wasteland.” Now it’s fast becoming “the great waistband.”

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)