Sometimes when we struggle to achieve something and we find more gravel than diamonds, there is that tendency to seek solace or signs of success even in minute particles of our endeavors.

And so this week the U.S. administration was a bit tickled that we (our military folks) have captured Osama bin Laden’s barber.

This was a surprise to me. The last video I saw of bin Laden seemed to indicate that he didn’t have a barber or else he assigned those duties to someone who tied fish nets for a living.

I suppose catching his barber is something. I’m not really sure just what. I think in some instances a barber may be kind of like a bartender in that they hear a lot of stuff. And in this case, maybe they (our intelligence people) think that the barber is sort of like a priest to whom one can confess except that he is not bound by papal directives not to disclose crucial information. I don’t know if barbers have such a code.

Osama has been quite crafty in escaping capture. Apparently there are a lot of holes in Afghanistan where people can hide. And before we checked them all, we got into a war elsewhere, thus, just catching Osama bin Laden’s barber becomes a notch on our guns.

Now we must wonder where the other notches will come from as the pursuit continues. As Jay Leno put it, how excited will we be when they catch bin Laden’s pool boy or his aroma therapist? Could his cable guy be of importance?

Now I’m not saying that the task to capture bin Laden is not a formidable one. And I think we make big mistakes when we view our intelligence community and all our technology as a sure thing in these ventures. Sure, we have satellite capabilities of reading a car tag in Red Square. But it’s still difficult for us to synchronize cross-walk lights. And besides, camels don’t have tags.

Doing battle with Third World countries often involves chunking rocks, sniping from crowded villas and trying to distinguish the bad guys who don’t wear uniforms. Sometimes smart bombs are not that smart when the bad guys with the rocks choreograph their battles to involve innocent bystanders.

Actually, I don’t think bin Laden’s barber will be able to help us much. I’m not even sure if it’s illegal to be his barber. And why would we want to capture him. Why not follow him. I mean if he goes into a shop and buys a half gallon of Vitalis or Wildroot Cream Oil or maybe a tin of Dapper Dan and a pair of hedge trimmers, that should be a clue.

Just tail the guy and see if he’s actually under contract to Osama or if he has a deal with Don King.

I’ve seen them do this in the movies. Of course unlike government, the movies are choreographed … hee hee!

Now that we have him, I’m afraid that the only information we can get will have to do with whether that’s Osama’s natural hair color, if he gets a lot of rat tangles in it from sleeping in caves and whether he’s ever considered getting a flat top. Does he have a cow lick? Is he prematurely balding from all the stress he’s under?

We know that Osama is very wealthy. He could have several barbers. The one captured might just be a decoy. I wonder if they’ve (our intelligence people) given this guy a barber test to see if he actually is one.

It can’t be too hard to disguise one’s self as a barber. Just dress up like Floyd on the old Andy Griffith Show. Or model yourself after that guy in the AFLAC commercial who cuts Yogi Berra’s hair. Neither one of them are real barbers but they really do look the part. I saw Yogi’s barber also playing a banker in a movie recently.

Again, please don’t think I’m belittling our intelligence gatherers. I know their job is a difficult one — particularly in countries where trench coats stand out like a bikini in church. I just don’t want us to get giddy about catching the bad guy’s barber. Now if they catch Osama next week, I stand corrected and giddy.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)