MOULTRIE — Did you know that both males and females have a weenis?

I didn’t know this until a few days ago when a friend asked me if I had ever heard of it. Well no, I hadn’t. He said it wasn’t in his dictionary, and he has a very large dictionary. Another friend of mine, who is in the medical field and has extensive knowledge of human anatomy, didn’t know about it either.

So I went to Google where I found that the weenis is the skin on the elbow.

And whenever I learn something new like that, I tend to be much more conscious of it at least for a few days. And so I’ve noticed that some people have a tight weenis and some have a loose weenis.

I took this information to my breakfast club and I think everyone there observed his weenis that day.

One member of the club said his grandkids pinch his weenis. It might be hard to believe, but the subject of weenises trumped gun control for a short while.

I’m not sure just where the weenis begins and ends. I guess it depends on the size of the elbow. But since I’ll never be a contestant on “Jeopardy,” I guess it really doesn’t matter. And without his cheat sheet, I’m betting Alex Trebek doesn’t know what a weenis is.

I’m thinking that as you read this, you’ve already felt of your weenis. And like me, you will be observing other weenises.

Many of us have been reminded by our moms to wash our elbows. But I bet no one has ever been reminded to be sure to wash his weenis.

Why the skin on the elbow needed a name other than elbow skin, I really don’t know. I cut my research short.

But it does make me wonder if there are peculiar names for other pieces of skin. For instance, does the loose skin under your neck have a reference other than “turkey neck?” On a cow, it’s called brisket. And what about that little hangy-down part on your ear.

All I could find was “ear lobe” and of course there was a very hard-to-pronounce Latin name. There was nothing like “weenis,” which I’m pretty sure is not Latin. Sounds more like Cajun.

But in seeking that information I Iearned that the little crease some people have in their ear lobe is called “Frank’s sign.” I did not find out who Frank was, however. But then I don’t know who Phillip of Phillip’s screwdriver fame is either.

Yet I have still managed to sleep at night without that knowledge, and I have successfully loosened a few screws along the way.

Legend has it that if you have Frank’s sign, you will have a short life. I hope that’s not the case because I have them. I also heard a long time ago that when your wisdom teeth came in, your life was half over. I got all four of my wisdom teeth at 13. So that math was faulty.

My dentist once asked me if my wisdom teeth had ever bothered me. I told him no. He asked me if I wanted them removed because I really didn’t use them. I told him I would practice.

Now the ear lobe serves no physical function. It just hangs there. And as useless as it may seem, I recall an episode of “Gunsmoke” many years ago centered around this piece of skin. In that episode, Festus Hagin had some childhood vengeance thing going on with a cousin. And he was determined to shoot his cousin’s ear off — not the whole thing, just the little hangy-down part. It’s a good thing that he wasn’t going to shoot his weenis off. He might have hit his funny bone.

Now you may wonder why I have written so much about a lame subject like the skin on one’s elbow as opposed to some commentary on Congress. Well, I think “lame” is the operative word here, and at the moment weenis just seemed less lame.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)