A woman in South Florida pulls into her driveway and there on the lawn is a 12-foot Burmese python. Now just imagine if this is the person who is frightened by spiders and lizards. The neighborhood will never be the same again.
This lady calls 911. And the person at 911 was rather annoyed and asked why she was bothering them with such a call. I suppose what the 911 person meant was unless the python is wrapped around the mailman or the encyclopedia salesman, then it wasn’t a real emergency. Well, maybe I’m stretching a point with the encyclopedia salesman.
As the story ‘uncoils’, the 911 dispatcher tells the woman to go to her garage, get a shovel, and hit the snake on the head.
The woman balks at that idea. So 911 advises her to go to the neighbor’s house and get someone there to hit the python on the head with a shovel.
Well, eventually the Florida Game and Fish Commission sends someone to deal with the situation. At this point, we don’t know if it was captured or hit on the head with a shovel. But the Game and Fish people issued a statement that the situation was handled poorly by the 911 service. Ya think!
By now, most of know that South Florida has a problem of an ever-increasing population of Burmese pythons let loose in the swamps by their owners.
It would seem that the presence of a reptile from a Tarzan movie on the front lawn is now becoming commonplace. And probably the sell of shovels has increased.
Now as one radio commentator described the scene, a 12-foot python is the length of a small jon boat. I think as dangerous as a large snake might be, the people who think of them as pets may be just as dangerous. And apparently there is no cure for them.
Just this past week, a woman smuggled a rhesus monkey out of Africa into the United States. She drugged the monkey, put it under her shirt and pretended she was pregnant. She actually got through airport security and Customs with this monkey under her shirt. Now doesn’t that make you feel safe from international terrorists? I’m telling you we need to bring our troops home from Afghanistan and Iraq so they can protect our airports.
So what if that airplane had hit some turbulence and that monkey had slid out from under her shirt? Would she have faked labor pains at that moment? Can you just see the guy sitting next to her? Would he have yelled for hot water and towels or would he have ordered her a banana?
Snakes have also been smuggled in on planes under people’s clothing. I’m not even going into the scenarios that would be applicable here except that some guy might have won a prize or something.
And so as we talked about these incidents at the breakfast club this morning, it was concluded that extra-terrestrials may have visited us in the past, but they didn’t come back because they could not find intelligent life forms. But that doesn’t just mean they saw people playing with snakes and hiding monkeys under their shirts, they may have just hovered over Washington, D.C. on their last trip.
(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)
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