It's only pretend, but it's cute and inexpensive

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November 14, 2009

Dwain Walden The Moultrie Observer Sat Nov 14, 2009, 10:47 PM EST

So if you’ve got a problem with the moon, take it to former astronaut Buzz Aldrin. He has been named “honorary counsel to the moon” by the Los Angeles Board of County Supervisors.

I guess if you have to have a counsel to the moon, it makes sense to name someone who has been there.

Aldrin thanked the supervisors and called on the federal government to lead an international effort to colonize another planet, clean up space junk and pursue commercial opportunities in space.

Of course this is an “honorary” title. I think it’s safe to say that Buzz, 79, won’t be going back to the moon, at least not in this life. I don’t know how God has space travel worked out beyond that.

The Board of Supervisors has no real authority to name Buzz to this post, and for all practical purposes, neither does the president of the United States nor Congress. One might argue that Congress should have some credentials in this regard, given that they so often exhibit “sky is the limit” tendencies. And some of them have been described as being “way out there.” Otherwise, Colquitt County Board of Commissioners could just as well name the spelling bee winner ambassador to the moon.

Yes, we know it’s all just pretend because if it wasn’t, some of our Congressmen would already have taken junkets there.

I think it’s kind of cute to do something like this once in a while because it really doesn’t cost anything. It’s not like Buzz will draw a salary or travel expenses. And I applaud them for bestowing such an honor on Buzz because it takes a lot of nerve, spit and vinegar for someone to strap himself to a rocket and fly toward the moon. It still amazes me to stand out in the yard at night and view that big orange ball and know that our scientists not only figured out how to put a man up there, but more impressively to bring him back.

Now about that idea of colonizing another planet.

I’m not saying that won’t ever happen, but I don’t think this is going to be on anyone’s priority list. I don’t think there’s another planet in our solar system that can support life as we know it. And beyond our solar system .... well, mode of travel presents a formidable obstacle. It’s often been said that it’s not the destination but the journey that is so great. I really don’t think that applies in the context of sending someone from earth to another habitable planet. I realize the view is terrific but there’s not a convenience store between here and there.

I don’t know what kind of issues Buzz would take up as counsel to the moon. As far as that goes, I don’t even know what a counsel to Honduras would do.

When I was a teen-ager, I passed up a fishing trip to spend an entire Saturday helping my neighbor get his sweet potato crop into the barn. He convinced me the potatoes had to be harvested that day. When the day was over, I asked him what the hurry was all about. He said that if a full moon shone on sweet potatoes after they had been dug, they would rot. I guess maybe that would be an issue for Buzz.

But before Buzz makes any decisions about our big night light, I need to talk with him because I had already promised the moon to my wife.

(E- mail Dwain Walden at dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)

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