TV can be educational … sometimes

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October 28, 2009

Dwain Walden The Moultrie Observer Wed Oct 28, 2009, 11:04 PM EDT

I have often complained about the lack of quality entertainment on television. I detest reality shows because they are as phony as a toupee with a chin strap.

But I must be fair, I have found some entertainment and enlightenment that I must applaud.

Now at 3 a.m., cable programming is stretched very thin. But given that I grew up with television that signed off at midnight, I should cut the industry some slack here.

So the other night (in the wee hours) I learned that in Mongolia, they don’t eat fish, even though the world’s largest trout is found there. In Mongolia, fish are considered holy. It’s kind of like in India where they don’t eat cows because cows are holy. I don’t think that’s where we got the expression “holy cow!” but it seems to fit. And as far as I know, I’ve never heard the expression “holy fish!” even though I was not allowed to fish on Sundays. Maybe more deep thought is required here.

Deep thinking is much easier at 3 a.m. because there are less distractions, assuming of course you are up just because you can’t sleep, not because you ate something that didn’t’ agree with you. It’s difficult to get very philosophical while cuddling with a bottle of Pepto Bismol.

And so now, via the Animal Channel, I know that if I visit Mongolia, I will not take my fishing gear.

Then on the Discovery Channel, I learned how scientists plan to protect the Earth from any large meteors that might smash us. Considering that some very large rocks have hit us in the past, it just seems probable that it could happen in the future.

It is believed that meteor strikes in Russia and down in Mexico millions of years ago destroyed the dinosaurs. Unless we have a plan, millions of years from now, someone might conclude that a meteor strike wiped out reality shows.

We are fortunate today that our scientists can see oncoming meteors years away. That gives us an edge. On this program, various scenarios described our possible counter measures. They include laser, nuclear and solar applications.

Now I don’t go to bed worrying about a meteor hitting us, even though movie producers have projected the holocaust that would occur. I worry about other things like my 401K and the fact that when gasoline prices dropped, grocery prices didn’t.

I feel confident that we have brilliant minds working on these scenarios to keep us safe from that method of extinction. If only we can figure out how to quit killing each other in more conventional ways.

Now I know that some of my fundamentally religious friends don’t see the need for spending money to counter meteors. Their logic is that if God is going to throw rocks at us, there’s nothing we can do to deflect them. But I will pray that our scientists are really on their game.

So my cynicism and skepticism about television have been modified a bit. I now know that if I’m lost in the Australian outback, I can squeeze drinking water out of fresh kangaroo dung. But I’ve also learned that if a King Brown (snake) has just bitten me, it’s a moot point. It would be the epitome of adding insult to injury.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)

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