MOULTRIE — Not long ago I wrote about having stupid dreams, which I think account for most of my dreams. And I wondered if other people experienced this. Since then, I’ve had many emails from people saying they do experience such weirdness.

Also since then, I’ve been doing some research on the subject, and I’ve found that some scientists actually study the dream process. But it’s almost in that category of studying the paranormal, and the best I could find is that causes of our dreams are merely theories and educated reasoning. While brain wave activity might be detected and measured, these really smart people have yet to come up with the technology that allows the dream to the projected onto a screen.

So since the causes of our dreams are at best theories, then I have my own theories about this. And my study on this matter did not involve federal funding ... that may be my own fault. I should have just asked, I guess.

It’s my opinion that things we experience are stored in our software much like in a computer. And during our subconsciousness we mentally click on a week’s worth of activity, and it downloads. Unfortunately, it hasn’t all been sorted like in our conventional computers so it all runs together, and we don’t have a beginning, a middle and an end that follows logical sequence.

Let me offer you a basis for my theory.

Just last week I watched the NFL playoffs. I can consciously replay in my mind many of the highlights and the associated commentaries. As well, I watched on the Discovery Channel something about grizzly bears and the conflicts they offered to trout fishermen in Alaska.

I can still see the San Francisco Forty Niners’ quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, running like a buffalo for  65 yards to score a touchdown. I was thinking the whole time, outside of hiring a sniper how will the Atlanta Falcons stop this guy in the NFC championship game?

And I can see this outdoors expert standing on a rock by this beautiful river offering advice on what to do if you should encounter a grizzly.

So last night I had this dream that obviously assimilated much of this programming into a really weird episode.

In this dream, a group of people, including myself, was being chased by a grizzly bear. And as I raced past Colin Kaepernick, seemingly with great ease, I told him when the bear caught up with him to try to make himself appear much larger than he is but not to make eye contact. And I zipped on out sight. Too bad I wasn’t carrying a football. It would have been an easy six points.

Another weird one: When I was in grammar school, I was pretty good at shooting marbles. And we played for keeps. I still have many of those marbles. I keep some in a decorative jar so that when someone comes into my office and tells me I’ve lost my marbles, I can use my college French and say, “Au contraire!”

When I lived in the mountains of East Tennessee, there was a little country store where grown men shot marbles on a device that looked like a  round pool table with a hard clay base instead of felt.

So I told my breakfast club about these grown men playing marbles and my prowess at that sport as a child.

And wouldn’t you know it, I had a dream about shooting marbles. There I was standing before Congress testifying that I did not use steroids when I won all those marbles.

Some of these dreams just tire me out, especially when I’m running from a bear or sawing logs with a chainsaw that won’t even crank. And yes, trying to reason with Congress ... totally exhausted when I woke up.

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)