Here in the heat of the political season, I have been asked several times lately, just what is a caucus? My answer: I don’t really know. But I think it’s a secret enclave kind of thing that involves eye of newt, bat wing and maybe even gunpowder stirred into syrup of black draught. When all the smoke blows away, a candidate has been anointed.

I fully understand a primary. Regular people like you and me go vote. I truly think that’s what our founding fathers had in mind. But I could be wrong because I once thought all lug bolts turned to the left to take them off, until I wrung one off the rear left wheel of an old DeSoto. That’s wasn’t the last time I was wrong. There have been numerous events since. It was just rather notable because some girls were watching.

My feeble understanding of caucuses is that at the county level (in states where caucuses are held instead of primaries) citizens elect delegates. At the state level, delegates select more delegates. These delegates select a candidate. And then they prance around like bantam roosters because they got the power. Of course there are “super delegates” who are called upon if the lesser delegates can’t make a decision. Super delegates wear red, white and blue tights with a big “S” on the chest.

Some people ask why we have the delegates process and the electoral college? Why shouldn’t popular vote be the method all the way from bottom to top? I think that’s a good question. I think the elector system was devised because someone thought that there might be that day when we would be too stupid to make wise choices.

Now if a person’s candidate fails the popular vote but wins enough electors to get him in office, then that person is totally in favor of the electoral college process. But, if his candidate got the popular vote but failed on the elector tally, the aforementioned person would say that popular vote should be the rule because obviously, it was America’s choice.

It’s kind of like we are all liberals and we are all conservatives at some points in our lives. Those points are defined by oxen being in ditches.

Now I tend to lean to the popular vote concept. But I have looked around and there are days when I’m not sure but what there are some of us too stupid to make wise decisions.

You see, I watch “Jaywalking” on the Tonight Show a lot, and we have people in college who don’t know that we have Canada on top and Mexico on bottom. Now given, the Mexico thing might be a bit confusing these days, but surely they saw John Wayne in “The Alamo.”

Not only that, I’ve seen people on “The Jerry Springer Show” chase each other around the set naked as jaybirds, throwing chairs and tables at one another.” I’ve tried to imagine these kinds of people discussing alternate energy and global warming. Somehow they don’t fit into that picture. But they might argue that global warming is why they took their britches off.

Of course, I would be “assuming” that these people would actually vote. And assuming is dangerous in politics. You could wind up with just the first syllable in that collection of vowels and consonants.

But we must understand that the people of several states choose to have caucuses instead of primaries. And that is their right. It was not forced upon them by troops or the threat of bringing back disco. If enough of them got huffy about it, they could change to primaries.

So maybe they have reason to believe that more of their people will wind up on The Jerry Springer Show. Who knows?

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)