Moultrie Observer

Opinion

July 1, 2009

The dog never ate my homework

When I was a kid, I could never use the excuse “the dog ate my homework.” The reason is really simple. Mama wouldn’t let dogs in the house. In fact where I grew up, I didn’t know anyone who let dogs in their houses.

You see out in the country, most of our dogs were hunting dogs or herding dogs, and they all had a particular ambiance about them that screamed “essence of barnyard” or perhaps “midnight stumpwater.”

All my life I had heard that expression about dogs eating homework. I did have a dog to eat the pocket out of my outfielder’s glove because I left it on the tailgate of the pickup, and yes one chewed the wiring off my boat trailer. But I’m not even sure if I had put my homework on the back porch if Tuffy, Spot or Bullet would have bothered with it. An essay on John Milton simply does not compare with roadkill. There was a “disstink” difference.

I was grown and married before we ever had a dog in the house. Of course these were dogs that were bathed regularly. But they were still hunting and heard dogs — Brittanies and border collies.

Our Britany named Fancy was actually a weather dog. She would go berserk when a storm was brewing. The sky could be clear, and she would start getting nervous and trying to hide in a closet. I’m not sure how far out Doppler radar reaches, but Fancy could hear it thunder in west Alabama. She would get so nervous and wild, our veterinarian prescribed tranquilizers. But unfortunately, she still acted the same. The only difference was that she staggered while she was doing it. So I took the tranquilizers and she seemed so much better.

Now I read where the “dog ate my homework” excuse is still around but has mutated somewhat.

A woman in Arlington, Wash., has been accused of dipping into her ex-husband’s bank account without permission.

She said her dog got into her purse and ate all her personal checks. Not just one check or three checks, the dog supposedly ate all her checks. She told investigators she had no choice but to take money from her ex-husband’s account.

Then comes another twist in canine intervention. An Eau Claire, Wis., teenager missed a trip to Peru because his dog chewed up his passport. And in this case it actually happened. Officials at O’Hare looked at the chewed document and told him it was okay. But at Miami, airport officials rejected it. The teen said he did not have hard feelings against his dog Sunshine. “I love her too much,” he said.

So here’s a ready- made commercial. I don’t know what missing the Peru trip with his Spanish class would be valued at, but young John Meier’s response is priceless. A kid who loves his dog that much might become a great leader one day. Or, he’ll learn to turn around three times before he sits down.

So at least once in modern history, the “dog ate my homework” excuse was for real.

I’m surprised when asked where all that money went, Bernie Madoff didn’t try “the dog ate it” routine. But not even a 101 Dalmatians scenario could have digested all he “madeoff” with.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)

Text Only
Opinion
  • Dwain Walden.jpg More data on the Battle of the Bulge

    May 9, 2012 1 Photo

  • We better wake up

    Dear editor:
    Have our GOP representatives gone to sleep or are they refusing to act for the people they are supposed to represent? The Obama administration has contracted a Spanish company called SCYTAL, to tabulate the 2012 November presidential election.

    May 25, 2012

  • Rant and Rave for 5/26/12

    May 25, 2012

  • Rant and Rave for 5/25/12

    May 24, 2012

  • Dwain Walden.jpg May God bless my Uncle Henry

    My uncle once noted on his return from a fishing trip that he caught so many fish he couldn’t put them all in one pile.
    That’s how I feel trying to keep up with all the causes and organizations that either require support groups or else they comprise support groups.

    May 23, 2012 1 Photo

  • A kind humanity

    Dear editor:
    Humanity. One word. That word can translate into many other words. Some would say humanity is dark, greedy and bent on world domination. Others may say humanity is sweet, kind and caring. I myself witnessed a small part of a loving, caring humanity the other day.

    May 23, 2012

  • Rant and Rave for 5/24/12

    May 23, 2012

  • Why it's a bad tax

    Dear editor:
    In regards to the Transportation TSplost Tax:  The statement, “Economic development suffers if we don’t pass this tax” is not a valid statement, because Georgia has always been behind the 8 ball in regards to transportation, but yet look at the growth we have experienced; being behind in transportation didn't hinder economic growth. Georgia now ranks 11th in the country as of 2010 and this occurred mostly since 1995. The economic vitality of Georgia is alive and well considering the slump the country is in.

    May 22, 2012

  • Rant and Rave for 5/23/12

    May 22, 2012

  • I am saddened

    Dear editor:
    A couple of weeks ago, I attended Field Day at Sunset Elementary where my oldest daughter attends the Pre-K program. I was deeply saddened to hear that Mrs. Vicky Watson will be retiring this year.

    May 21, 2012

Business Marquee
AP Video
NJ Man Charged With Murder in Death of Patz Support, Fun for Kids of Fallen Soldiers at Camp Fugitive Penguin Caught, Returned to Aquarium 50 Years Later, Underground Fire Still Burning Light Show Transforms Sydney Opera House Raw Video: Unruly Passenger Restrained in Miami Raw Video: Robber Uses Drive-thru Window Raw Video: Dragon Arrives at Space Station Calif.'s Coronado Named Nation's Best Beach CEO Salaries Become Sore Issue in Labor Disputes Raw Video: Fight Erupts in Ukrainian Parliament Texan Ranchers Remain Wary of Drought Raw Video: Soldiers Plant Flags at Arlington Police: Man Arrested in Etan Patz Disappearance NYC Protests: the Revolution Will Be Scripted Chicago U.S. Attorney Fitzgerald Resigns Neighbors of Etan Patz's Suspect: It's Shocking Gulf Fishermen Reel From Seafood Troubles Stuntman Makes Skydive Without Parachute in UK Raw Video: Bride Who Faked Cancer Released
House Ads
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Popular Searches
Powered by Local.com
More
weatherradar
Seasonal Content
Community Calendar
Loading…
Events by eviesays.com
Poll

If the vote were held today, would you support the Transportation Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax?

Yes. We need these projects, and this is the only way we can pay for them.
No. We don't need any more taxes.
No. The process is undemocratic and wrong.
     View Results